Inspired (by what, whom?)

For unknown, mystical reasons, the supposed content of this post suddenly vanished when I tried to publish it. Well that’s life. I just have to rewrite it. It lies fresh in my mind. 🙂

—-

This is the morning I am inspired to update my blog. It’s been a long time. Probably it is because of so much changes happening within me since my semestral break started. I am beginning to change as a person, from a different me when I was in childhood, in the happiest part of schooling called high school, and from my freshman year in college.

[i am writing it differently. i hate it. but i have to love it. :)]

This is my first semestral break when I went out of town solely with my friends and classmates, without the guidance of a teacher or a parent. And it is all together different. When I came home, my mom said my sister has found someone to talk to.

My 15-year old sister is just as introverted as I was before. Since I went into college, I am able to establish more meaningful conversations with her and with the rest of the family. I was able to grow by myself.

But what is a meaningful conversation? I make her laugh, I make her smile, but I can’t make her cry joyful tears. In her childhood she cries because of me, but not because of good reason. I used to tease her. But that was too childish.

Well perhaps I am beginning to take her into journalistic chitchats. By that I don’t mean news, I don’t mean issues, but gossips, witty jokes, and images. Journalistic chitchats are different from journalistic conversations. I am happy she is able to laugh with the most absurd jokes I crack which my parents often don’t get.

She takes an Science Research elective in her fourth year in high school. She said she is planning to shift to a Journalism elective because of peer pressure. I told her no if that’s the reason. Most people who are into journalism entered the field because of a passion. It’s a matter of understanding, sustaining, and maintaining.

[this ones far from the previous paragraph, but i remember this from the deleted post. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.]

I love writing. I am able to express myself more in this that speaking but I’m trying to balance off things. I love writing, journalistic writing in particularly, because it makes you aware of your surroundings, it makes you a keen observer (the real observer apart from the definition made by first year General Science in high school. I could remember the words: ‘scientists are keen observers’, well probably in another way) With my sister, we could understand each other in glances laughing at some people who act fake, and okay, admiring people who act real and rational. We sometimes laugh at our dad. 🙂

I love blogging because I gives you no breaks, and no restraints. It is totally free, unrestricted by criticisms, word count, and page limit. And I feel better after every post – after every true-to-heart post.

[now i’m struggling. i always loved spontaneous writing. but the passion fades]

I couldn’t sleep last night so I tried searching for broadcast journalists with their personalities, because in the past few days, I have started to believe that I am becoming ‘too evil’ for my field of study. But I have regained my composure upon reading GMA-7’s Lia Manalac’s blog.

She said in one post that many learnings in life are charged to experience.

“I am grateful because there are still so many things I want to do, that I wouldn’t be able to if I were married by now. There are still so many places to go to that I want to see by myself- that I want to explore on my own. There are still so many people to get to know, things to feel. I haven’t lived well enough to tie myself down, I know that.”

Thanks to this for letting me know that what I felt these past few days were not inherent, but rather experiences for my continuous learning.

random thought: I miss Bacolod City.

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2 thoughts on “Inspired (by what, whom?)

  1. Liked reading this entry. I agree that there’s no pressure in writing blogs and is a way to release all your stress and worries. I got caught up in writing political blogs that I forgot how fun it is to write it for your own. Nainspire mo ko magsulat ng blog uli Lindley, thanks! 🙂

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